WHEN YOU THINK OF car sex, visions of fumbling first-time fingering or awkward, stiff-necked blowjobs likely flash before your eyes. And even though car sex is basically a right of passage, that doesn’t mean it’s just reserved for horny teens who have no place to bone besides the back of a CVS parking lot.
Margo Badzioch, certified intimacy and wellness coach at Mindbody, says car sex is for grown-ass men, women, and nonbinary babes, too. “Even if you’re not a horny teenager, when you’re feeling hot for each other and want it right there and now, car sex is an option,” she explains.
Naturally, this means car sex is great if you’re leaving dinner and can’t wait to get home to do the nasty. But it’s also a good move if you’re unable to have sex in your house (kids? Roommates? A dog that won’t stop licking your toes?) or simply want to switch things up.
“New places mean novelty and excitement,” explains certified sex therapist for Adam & Eve, Jenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT. “The car is far less expensive than a hotel room, and may not even require a babysitter if you stay in your driveway.”
And what really makes car sex hotter than, say, hitting up a motel for a few hours, is the major taboo element involved. “This is one way to add some real spice to your sex life,” adds Kenneth Play, sex educator and author of Beyond Satisfied. “There’s something naughty about car sex because of the fear of potentially getting caught.” For a lot of people, it’s that sort-of-public sex element that lures them to fucking in their Fords in the first place.
All that said, car sex isn’t exactly as easy to pull off as missionary in the bedroom. In order to have memorable (in a good way) car sex, there are a few things you need to keep in mind. Below, experts break down the best car sex tips to help you rev those engines and gun it to Pleasureville.
Be smart about where you park.
First things first, you need to be choosy about *where* you’re going to have car sex. “Park thoughtfully and responsibly for an ideal amount of privacy,” urges Dr. Skyler. Even though you’re in a vehicle, you can still get in trouble if passersby see you. In order to avoid adding a misdemeanor (or worse) to your resume, do everything you can to avoid that “lewd act” charge. Park someplace private (so not a busy street full of bars on a Friday night) and wait until it’s dark to go at it. Oh, and wherever you choose, make sure you turn off the car and utilize that e-brake to avoid a potentially dangerous situation.
Plan for car sex ahead of time.
Even though car sex can be super spontaneous, it’s always a good idea to plan ahead to ensure it’s as safe and satisfying as possible. “Think about things like positions, where the condom or lube is, a vibrator, and anything else you might need, like baby wipes to clean up,” Play says. “If you need privacy, get some of those curtains for the windows. If your partner is a squirter, you might want to place a towel or waterproof blanket to cover the seat.”
Use the space (or lack thereof) to your advantage.
If you have a smaller car, you likely know that you’ve got very few options, space-wise. Having sex in the driver’s seat is never a good idea since it’s all too easy to accidentally hit the horn or nudge the gearshift. So generally, heading to the backseat is going to be your best bet.
The good news is that the vast majority of cars made in the past two decades can fold the backseats down. The manufacturers did this on purpose—they want you to bone in the back. And if you have an SUV, you can likely use the trunk space for your sexual activities as well. Happen to be in a sex-negative car with backseats that don’t pop down? At least move the driver’s and passenger’s seats up as far as they can go.
Wherever you find to be the most comfortable, Badzioch says due to the lack of space, you’ll likely need to make adjustments in how you move your hands/bodies/mouths. “Try to make every move intentional and pay attention to how each act feels to you and your partner,” she says. “Slow it down—sometimes minimal movement is all you need.”
Play around with positions.
You need to conserve space when boning in a car, and the best way to do this is through intimate, skin-to-skin sex. That’s why Badzioch suggests missionary position or partner-on-top/cowgirl position. “Try to have your torsos as close to each other as possible and make slow micro-movements for deeper intimacy and connection,” she says.
Naturally, the best car sex position is really going to depend on the type of vehicle you’re in as well as your personal preferences and flexibility. Play says that pretty much any position you can do on a couch should work, and if you really want to turn things up, try doggy style in the backseat—the receiver can even poke their head out the window to take the “excited dog” concept to a whole other level.
Stock up on the essentials.
We already touched upon the whole “planning ahead” thing, but for real, you want to make sure you have all the necessities on hand before things get hot and heavy in your Honda. A few must-haves include:
- Condoms, dental dams, etc.
- Wipes for cleanup
- Sex toys (especially if your partner has a vagina and needs clitoral stimulation to orgasm.)
One quick note, though: Dr. Skyler says not to leave lube or condoms in your car since they can melt. Just grab them before you hop in and make sure to take them out of the car with you when you’re done.
Set the vibe.
Yes, car sex can be carnal and dirty, but it can also be slow and sensual if that’s more the vibe you’re going for. Badzioch suggests using soft blankets or a silk pillow for sensation play, and maybe even bringing a few roses along. Sure, the flowers make the car smell nice and look romantic, but stroking each other with the soft petals can also double as pretty hot foreplay. Win-win.
Living in a shared space likely means that animalistic, moan-filled sex is out, but getting in on in your car can change all that. “If you don’t feel comfortable making audible sounds during sex in your house for whatever reason, the car might be a good outlet,” explains Badzioch. Not only can being loud during sex help you connect with your partner and release some of that pent-up energy, but it’s also a way to ensure breath control and keep your blood circulating.
Just make sure you’re parked somewhere people can’t hear you, otherwise, those screams of passion might be misconstrued as something else.
Cue up your car sex playlist.
Another perk of having sex in the car is the built-in surround-sound speakers. Instead of just turning on the radio and hoping for the best, Play says being intentional about the sexy music you choose can help set the mood and transform the experience. Spend some time putting together a playlist full of your favorite songs to have sex to and see just how much of a difference a good beat can make when you’re humping in the backseat.
Don’t get fully undressed.
Having sex in a car usually isn’t usually the time to get fully nude since someone can walk by or you might need to make a quick exit. As much as you want to strip down, be smart about which garments you remove. Hike up skirts, pull down pants, and do whatever you need to do to keep your clothes somewhat on. This will a) keep your actions more concealed and b) give the whole thing even more of a take-me-now vibe.
That said, you can definitely use whatever clothes you do rip off to your advantage. Wad a shirt up for an extra pillow or use your jeans to prop your/your partner’s hips up to better angle yourself for bumping uglies.
And if you really want to be bare-ass naked, at least whip out that blanket we told you to bring and cover yourselves up a bit.
Incorporate some temperature play.
Between the A/C, the heated seats, and the windows/sky roof, you have a whole bunch of tools at your disposal to mess around with a little temperature play. Aim the cold vents on your partner’s nipples while you go down on them or crank the temp for a sauna-like feel. Try experimenting with different settings to see what works best, and don’t be afraid to really fog up the windows if all that heat turns your situation into that scene from Titanic.
Don’t sleep on oral.
Who said you need to have penetrative vaginal or anal sex in the car? Getting or receiving a little bit of head can be really freakin’ hot! No matter what you’ve seen in porn, you shouldn’t do this while the car is actually moving, but parking for some oral sex can be just as thrilling. Penis-owers can simply recline in the passenger seat while their partner leans over and vulva-owners can get into the queening position by mounting their partner’s face in the backseat.
Try different types of sex.
Car sex doesn’t just equal oral or penetration, and there are plenty of ways to have a sensual car experience outside of ass-grabbing quickies. Try taking it old school and stick with the first few bases to channel that nostalgic feel. “The genitals don’t always have to rub up against one another to make the car a sexy time,” explains Dr. Skyler. “Consider even a make-out session in a parked car for something new and different.” Seriously, never underestimate the power of dry humping.
Don’t forget the aftercare.
Even if your hookup was super fast and furious (sorry), Play says your sexual aftercare doesn’t have to be. In fact, spending time reconnecting after car sex is one way to really heighten the overall experience. “After some baby wipes to clean up, grab a chilled drink and some chocolate in a cooler from the trunk,” he suggests. Whip these out, roll down the windows, and chat about the experience you just shared…or get ready for round two. Either way.
Skip car sex if it’s not for you.
“Car sex is situationally somewhere between private and public—that alone can make it a little more thrilling,” says Badzioch. “While doing it in such tight quarters might not be the most comfortable, it can be very intimate and might leave you feeling deeply connected and satisfied.”
But if after trying all of these tips you still find yourself struggling to have halfway decent car sex, then car sex might not be for you. And you know what? That’s okay. Just remember: Car sex is always going to be a little awkward and uncomfortable, but hey, at least you’re getting some.